I stopped at the supermarket after work yesterday for cough medicine. Ahead of me in line was a man in his late 30's, maybe early 40's. He appeared to be talking to himself until I noticed the bluetooth device stuck in his ear. He was shifty and indecisive. I maintained a comfortable distance. The lines were long and unpredictable and he was bouncing back and forth from lane 2 and 3 trying to determine which would be faster. As we neared the checkout he looks over to his left and says "I think my line might be faster." I realize the whole operation is a team effort and the overweight woman in lane 3 is his accomplice. He cuts in front of me 2 more times before leaving and awkwardly squeezing himself in front of another customer and joining his partner. By far one of the most annoying supermarket offenses: "line splitting". Combined, they had 3 items....

(1) Gallon of store brand chocolate chip ice cream

(1) Bottle of store brand maple syrup

(1) 2 liter bottle of store brand root beer

Somebody got the recipe for Root Beer Floats all wrong. I imagined them coming back later to pick up their diabetes medicine from the pharmacy. I finished my transaction seconds ahead of them but seconds was all the satisfaction I needed.

Behind me in line was a woman attempting to return used hair ties and hair clips that she claimed broke. I wondered how this woman managed to break both accessories? What style were you attempting to pull off that would bend a hair clip to its breaking point? How many times did you wrap your ponytail beyond that tie's elasticity? I wondered where she was from and who lead her to believe that returning used hair clips and ties was anything less than nauseating. I kept wondering what happened to Chris Crocker and I wanted to offer a chip clip as a suggestion.