So we begin...
Last week I stopped at the grocery store for cleaning supplies. I quickly pick out my items and shuffle to the checkout line. I find myself behind a couple in their late 20's.
(9) Lifewaters
(1) Chocolate Cake
I went through the obvious questions in my head regarding the flavored waters: Is it that good? Was there a sale? How many bottles can one person carry without dropping them? What if there was a million dollar prize? Would they be able to carry more Lifewater under pressure? Are they keeping a hostage? For 9 days? Why the uneven number? Is it so they could get the chocolate cake and still qualify for speedy checkout in the "10 items or less" line? Did they have 10 lifewaters and walk by the chocolate cake and think "Oh shit, put one of those back--we have to get this chocolate cake. Kelly Clarkson drinks lifewater. Oh wait? No she doesn't. She drinks vitamin water, duh. I wonder if she actually drinks it?
Even more perplexing than the 9 flavored waters: the chocolate cake. THE WHOLE 9 INCH CHOCOLATE CAKE with little chocolate shavings in the shape of a half moon. As the checker slid the plastic across the little magic price lazer she says "Wow, this looks great!". The guy responds "Yeah. Can't wait to try it". I was unsatisfied with this response. I mean...this was his opportunity to explain himself and preserve his girlfriend's dignity. My head was spinning with excitement when the checker prompted him; I thought his response would offer a sense of relief. Maybe he would blush and say "We just couldn't help ourselves" (acceptable) or "We're having 7 friends over for cake and lifewater" (weird but acceptable).
The chocolate cake was more than likely marginal and dried out in 36 hours. I've had cake from that store. It's marginal.
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